Excellent
communication is the main factor for the success of a Project Manager (or any
other professional). It is easy to communicate with your peers, whom you know
quite well, but there are situations when you meet strangers and need to
initiate a conversation. Below are some of the scenarios where you need to
communicate with unknown people:
·
You are attending an interview in your dream
company and want to know from the fellow interviewee, who has just participated
in the interview, what questions are being asked
·
You are attending a Job fair and eagerly looking
for a job change. You want to enquire from a fellow attendee where the similar
job openings are available.
·
You are attending a training session, workshop
or meetup and want to know from the fellow attendee that what the latest
technology trend in the market is.
·
You have just been deployed at the client side
for an urgent project and quickly want to know about the environment and work
culture of the client's company.
Conversations
are links. Let's imagine every conversation is a tiny metal link. Every time
you talk to a stranger, a metal link is formed, and every conversation you have
after that movement, the link gets more durable. Every day each one of us meets
with so many strangers, the grocery guy, the cab guy and maybe the receptionist
of your office. With every conversation, you build a new link until finally, in
the end, we have created a kind of massive network of communication. The
conversation is a fascinating thing; it's an adventure; it gives you a whole
new perspective. The conversation opens a door; conversation can make war; the
conversation can make peace, and the conversation defines who we are as a human
race. Think about this; every single person in your life was once a stranger to
you. You know nothing about them until you had that first conversation. I will
share some of the tips to initiate the conversation with strangers in this
article.
The first-word flood gate: Strangers,
they are everywhere, and we have always been told that don't talk to strangers,
but I bet to differ. Every stranger comes with an opportunity. Opportunity to
learn something new, opportunity to experience something new, and hear a story
you never heard before. You are in a room with someone you don't know. You want
to talk to this person, but words are stuck somewhere in your neck. Words go up
and down. In my advice, just say it! What the worst that can happen? Won't they
talk to you? Well, they are not talking to you anyhow. The first word is the
flood gate. Once you have said the first word, everything is just a flow. So
keep it simple – gather the enthusiasm, the positivity, the energy, wear a big
smile and say Hi!
Skip the small talk: Here's a challenge
we face every day. We try to make a conversation memorable with strangers. How
do we do that? What's the biggest challenge? If we are stuck in small talk like
– "Hi, How are you? I am fine. What's up? All well", after some time
there's nothing much to discuss. Here is my advice, skip the small talk and ask
a personal question and don't be afraid. You will be surprised at how much
people are willing to share. You just ask! You can ask any kind of personal
question like "Interesting name! How did your parents think of it? Is
there any story behind it? How long have you been living in this city?"
Answers of these questions are always unique or always something personal. My
favourite try is "Where did you come from? Where did your family
live?" I still do this in meetups with fellow attendees. Once I discussed
software business at entrepreneur meetup. He offered me software-business
partnership without knowing me much. Moral of the story is what starts with a
hello can end with a business proposal.
Find the Me-too: Have you heard a
conversation like – "I am from Delhi". "I hate Delhi".
Nothing killed a conversation like a negative. When you meet someone for the
first time, make an effort to find one thing that is a common topic between
both of you. When you start at that point, then moving ahead from there will be
much easier. That's because both of you realize that you share something in
common and that ignites the power of conversation. Maybe you both are from the
same place, or perhaps you both love winters. You will find the same thing when
you happen to meet "me-too". Notice someone's stuff like shoes and
give them a compliment about it. If you meet somebody in the streets, you can
talk about their dogs or babies. You automatically have buy-in from the other
person. Trust me, that is helpful.
Pay a unique compliment: I read
somewhere, people may forget what you do, forget what you say but never forget
how you make them feel. So be generous, go out, and give someone nice compliments.
One example is if you meet with a supermodel and say you are beautiful and
there is no reaction on her face that's because she is immune to the word
"beautiful". She has probably heard it 100 times a day. There are
some words we have developed an immunity. So few similar words like cool,
awesome - stay away from these! Try to give constructive comments that are
unique, genuine and true. For example, when you look at someone and say,
"I love the way you smile!" - such compliments cannot be forgotten
for a while.
Maintain the balance between civility and
privacy: Stick to safe topics. Be professional during a networking
opportunity. We need to respect other person's personal space. This again
varies between different cultures.
Ask for an opinion: All of us form
opinions, and everybody needs validations. Asking for views can open up a
two-way conversation. A simple generic conversation can keep the pace of
conversation right. Some people make a mistake by asking difficult questions.
For example, "What do you think about the increase in oil price?"
"Will it affect the real state prices in Dubai?" - I feel a little
bit cornered. I think it's an examination and I have failed. Nobody wants to
fail in the first conversation. Just ask something simple and keep it generic-
"How would you like a coffee?", "What movie you watched last
time?" etc. When somebody gives you their opinion, really listen. Don't
listen to reply. Listen to listen! - there is a difference.
Be present: You are pouring your heart
out to someone, and they are on their mobile phones. If someone communicates
with you, the least you can do is be in that conversation. Just be whole
heartily present. Make eye contact. If you are looking in someone's eyes, nine
out of ten times, they will not dare to look away.
Name, Place, Animal and Things: Do you
remember that childhood game? Remember the little details about the person.
Remember the person's name and say it back to him. You have no idea how
important you can make them feel! That's not the only detail- remember all the
other information as well. Places they like, things they like etc. Remember
these little things about people and repeated back to them. This way, they also
feel responsible for you to keep the conversation going.
Exiting the conversation: Lot of people
find it very awkward to end a conversation. It feels like a breakup. You can
politely say the person – "It's nice talking to you! Here is my business
card. If I can ever help you in any way, please feel free to contact me. See
you, hopefully!" Don't be afraid to remove yourself from a conversation in
a polite way.
Other Things: Always carry your
business card and share it politely wherever required. When you are getting the
beverage or drink, hold it in your left hand. That is because, when you hold it
in your right hand and need to shake hands with someone, then you don't need to
wipe your hands first.
There are
multiple scenarios where you need to communicate with strangers. Most of the
times, you need to initiate communication as you cannot wait for the other
person to start. This is an essential skill for both your professional and
personal excellence. Everyone should develop this skill very carefully. Below
are some books I recommend, which you can read to develop these skills:
How to Talk
to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes
How to Talk
to Anyone at Work: 72 Little Tricks for Big Success by Leil Lowndes
How to Win
Friend and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
The Social Skills
Guidebook by Chris Macleod
Disclaimer:
The TED Talk of Malavika Varadan inspires this article
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